This space is empty and nothing’s remote

My mind is blank and my trust has turned to hope

As I lay next to you I’m not sure who’s to blame

The walls are silent and it’s easy for me to walk away

She comes praying for acceptance, she wants a smile in every face

The bottle’s spinning and spills toward you

With a jaw wired shut what will you do?

The wind blows the candle out

Lost in the dark I hear a shout

I wonder what this is for

I can’t find the hook, the chorus

The catch phrase or the promise

Playing to perfection

It leads only to frustration

Who made these rules?

Who writes these laws?

Wonderfully painful with compassionate tears

The glass breaks from high pitch waves

I stand up raise my hand and reach for luck

As you jump and shake from the devil’s touch

I can’t let go of your angry eyes

The mutation of a deadly device

When I leave where will I go?

Side by side, high or low?

Unforgiving

Time stealing scene

Your internal sail is running on empty

Where you stay will never change

Boredom rules your time and space

I know where it comes from, I know I need to stop blaming it, but now that I know and accept it, how do I move on? What do I do? Just do the work? Oh yea, that's the title of a new book I purchased.  I'm so behind on my reading.  I'm so behind on my songwriting.  I'm behind on everything. Always have been. Success, life, music.

I need a new life and direction. Get off the path you've been on. I know it sounds like a lot but let it out and say good-bye. You know it yourself. Just have fun and get through it all.

The weak will never win. The weak are cast aside. The weak are looked down upon and passed until they are outcast from society and slowly from themselves. You have been there and their ain't no going back. Do it. See what happens. How will you ever know what kind of person you are if you've never been in a fight?!?! Stop playing it safe. Get out there and ruffle some feathers. Look the bastards in the eye and smile. Point your finger and say never again will I fail. NEVER AGAIN I SAY! I will go down swinging. I will go down with arms wide open.

God loves triers and doers. I don't believe he cares for nice people. The ones who bend over backwards to make other people happy and sacrifice their happiness. When you sacrifice your happiness you sacrifice God's happiness. You can't make other people happy, no matter how hard you try. Only they can. No matter what you do, some people don't know how to be happy. They are full of fear, to afraid to be happy, not use to the energy not use to the glow.

Learn to let go and love yourself. Do it for you...

I do to much.  Or I should say I attempt to do it all.  Reading, writing, recording, parenthood, working out.  I ask for an hour a day for my music, but its not always enough.  Warming up, practicing, lessons, writing, finding the perfect tone to emulate a certain mood takes a lot longer than an hour.  I want to be a well rounded songwriter,  - melodies, ambient, simple but trippy beats.  Take the listener through the night sky of Los Angeles.  I have a lot to do and to catch up with.  I block myself worrying about what the "public" will think.  I know its wrong, but I've always been like that.  I am working on changing that mind set.  But its always in the back of my mind that one needs great songs to succeed.  But maybe its people want to see persistence and the ability to get better, maybe they even want to see the artist explore...

A face of scared confusion
Nowhere to go nowhere to turn
Holding back the tears
Burning inside my eyes
Nervous hands move like butterflies
I stare up high and the angry face is getting closer and darker
Glowing red
Something save me, someone protect me
I turn and run
Hide my face pretend to sleep
Look what I found! Will you praise me? Enjoy with me?
Change the scene please tell me it’s better
Though I have no idea what I’ve done, I thought it was funny
We done it before and laughed, I just don’t understand
You are bigger, older, and more powerful
Please I need reassurance, let us move on
Will you play with me? I’m a good boy, whatever it is I’m sorry
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQURSTUVWXYZ
I know my ABCs next time will you sing with me?

Been taking care of my little guy all week since his Grandma is out of the country visiting family (and getting a much needed rest).  Today I played the part well: laundry, grocery shopping and baking: :)


Peanut Butter cookies with dark choclate peant butter cups