My grandmother is in the hospital, actually it is a rehabilitation center for senior citizens.  She is bedridden and the doctors aren’t sure what is wrong. 

My wife, Baby Jude, and I went to visit her on Sunday.  It was great to see her smile, especially when she saw Baby Jude.  It seemed her spirits were lifted while we were there as she was able to watch the innocence of a baby in her room.  He was talking, clapping, playing patty-cake, yelling, goo-gooing and gaa-gaaing, smiling, and being as happy as he can be. 

Though there were times when he was getting restless and we had to walk him around the halls of the hospital.  That is when I saw many other faces light up the hallway.  When the senior patients saw the baby, they grew child-like with a happiness that seemed like they hadn’t felt in many years.  They began to yell, “Oh my, look at the baby!”  “Oh a baby!”  It was interesting to see how excited they got just to see a baby.  I would stop and show them Baby Jude and he would smile at them as they all were gooing and gaaing over him. 

When we had to leave the area I wondered how much better they felt as they were able to see a baby for a few seconds and what a baby represented to them.  Did it take them back to a time when they had children of their own?  Did a baby represent an unconditional love they feel for their children?  Did the baby take them back to a time where they were responsible for their own children and gave them a sense of purpose?  A sense of purpose that may be lacking from their lives?

I’m not sure but being the father of the baby that most of the patients that were head over heels for sure did feel good.  I guess because I am gooing and gaaing over my little guy when I think about and see him as well. 

The next day my grandmother was able to walk 24 steps forward and backward.  I would like to think that her seeing the baby brought an inspiration to get better so she can watch him grow.  We told her that his one year birthday is two months away and that we want her to be there.

Today, February 17, the doctors found a blood clot in her left leg.  She is bed ridden for two more weeks.  Let’s pray for a speedy recovery.  

Today I was nearly run over by a car while running through the streets of Anaheim.  I was at the corner of Harbor Blvd and Broadway, waiting for the light to turn green for me to cross.  The light turned green, I double checked to make sure there weren’t any drivers making a right turn where I was crossing.   Since it was 550am in the morning, not too many cars were out yet.  I began to cross the street and there was another pedestrian crossing from the other side of the street.  The next thing I see are bright white lights heading towards me.  I stop as I see they are in the far right lane.  The car passes by me, doesn’t’ stop, misses my by a foot.

I am pissed!  I bang the top of the car with my hand as its passing by, and finally the car stops and the driver looks in their side view mirror.  I immediately start yelling at the driver, “Didn’t you fucking see me crossing?!?!  Why don’t you pay attention you fuck?!?!”  The car then sped off.

This is not the first time that I have almost been hit by a car while running.  I know it won’t be the last.  I do my best to keep my eyes on what’s around me.  I am always freaked out that a car will get out of control while it passes me.  I have been immersed in thought what would have happened if I would’ve been hit.  Or even worse, what if this happens when I take my son for a walk?

I am more upset with the fact that I want that driver to get what’s coming to them and I want to see it.  I want to see it happen; I want them to be punished for almost killing someone.  I don’t wish ill-will to anyone, but this person needs to realize what they did.  Some drivers just don’t pay attention to what’s around them.  Always in a race to get where they’re going, lost in their little world.   Most people don’t learn, until something bad happens.  Until they get themselves into some negative stressful situation people will change. 

Wake up!  Life is short and precious, is it worth hurting someone or evening killing someone because we can’t learn the art of patience?  How would you feel if one of your loved ones was injured by a reckless driver because they weren’t paying attention to pedestrians?
It’s difficult to say, but I know that the probability of me seeing that driver get what’s coming to them is slim to none.  Who knows, maybe I’ll see them while on my morning run.  But I know I need to change if I want to see a change.  So now I will run with a small bright light and when I cross the street I will keep it lit, so I can be seen.  And I will always give vehicles the right of way, even if I have the right of way. 
Hopefully that should help keep me safe.  We’ll see in time, I’m sure.

Be safe and keep your eyes on the road…

Shine On and God Bless

I just found out that JD Salinger passed away yesterday.  He is the author of the very famous, and one of my favorite books, “The Catcher In The Rye.”  Oh what a book.   I was 23 when I finally read the book that I had heard so much about.  The main reason why I needed to read it was because Mark David Chapman had read it and kept it in his back pocket when he killed one of my favorite artists - John Lennon.

When I received the book, I read it in two days.  As I finished the last page, I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or to cry.  I know that my overall feeling was one of sadness.  It is a such a beautiful book, embracing all the feelings that I felt when I was a confused 16 year old, fighting what I truly felt with what I was told to feel.  I wish I had read this book in high school, I know my life would have been different and my heart stronger and more confident.  I am sure that many teenagers have related to “Catcher In The Rye” in one way or another, its probably why the book was on the censor list from 1960 – 2006, as the censors realized the character, Holden, is a strong voice for all generations of teenagers. 

The most memorable thing from the book for me is that Holden hated it when people told him “good luck.”  I have always hated that too.  It sounds like the person telling you that has no faith in you what-so-ever, and that one would need luck to succeed.  To this day, I have not said that quote to anyone from the influence of this book.   

From what I have read, Mr. Salinger was a strong willed man and loved this book so much that he refused selling the rights to making it into a movie, and even took book publishers to court who had other authors write a continuation story of Holden.

I never did understand why John Lennon’s assassin cited Catcher in the Rye as an inspiration to kill, but now I don’t want to nor care to.  I love this story and I look forward to reading it every year.  I enjoy arguing with other readers who claim that the story is “pretentious” and they didn’t enjoy one page it.  But then these are the same people who love to fight the system because they want to be rebellious and feel different from the rest of society.   Just as Holden does throughout the story. 

I like to take this time to thank Mr. JD Salinger for writing a beautiful story that brought ease to my heart.  Realizing that it’s OK to feel what we feel.  May God bless your soul.

I wonder where this will take me, the chaos outside
A distance I can reach
So far I can see
I hear the tired cries
From a place where the silence screams
Crawling to and fro
Waiting and wondering
The end will soon be near
Nothing to fear
Don’t stop, its right here
For you to take, embrace, create
All for you
Share with your loves
The lonely tears of mourning
For the lost secrets deep inside
Bring them to me, bring them to me
We’ll dance around them love them as one
Shower with dust bathe them as children
Thank them, hold them, kiss them,
Let them go
It’s the only way the better way
Our fears will die
As they wave goodbye
One more smile
We must follow the horizon
Make up for lost time

The band was offered a spot on an upcoming music fesitval that will be held in the city of Long Beach on January 23, 2010.  Unfortunately, after going over the contract I had to decline.  The reasoning behind this is that the band would have to pay $200 to reserve a spot, then sell 20 tickets at $20 a piece.  If we didn't sell all the tickets, we (the band) would have to pay the remaining balance due.  So for us to play a 45 minute set, it would cost us $600.  I would like to get into the recording studio next year to record an album or possibly two, and that is why I had to decline. 

I understand and know that major-label bands/acts put large amounts of money down to reserve spots on festivals and even large venues, and as I go further down the line in my music career that i will have to do the same.  But i strongly feel that it is not the best decision at the time.  Besides I can take the $600, rent out a smaller venue for a night and host my own show.  Hmm....